Driftwood 9 16

Driftwood 9 16

My webhost moved all their servers today (that’s why the site was down for a few hours), so hopefully it won’t be down again for a long time. V`(oo)´V

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All this dialogue in this page was rather difficult. I kept asking myself if I was being too simple and obvious, or too obscure … I recently watched Priest, so I went with the more simple and obvious. :op

At least it was extremely fast to draw, for a change. V^(oo)^;V

* * *

The books Willie is referring to:

Codependent No More is a self-help book by Melody Beattie. I read it after breaking up from a very bad relationship, and it was quite an eye-opener (well, to this day I’m still struggling with the same problems). It talks a lot about focusing on yourself, to the point of embracing egoism.
(I suppose that it could be a useful antidote to stop your dysfunctional behaviour as a codependent. But I personally think the important issue is not to stop caring about others, but to learn to care for those who actually need it and appreciate it, in ways that are actually helpful and constructive — certainly including ourselves, first and foremost.)

There is a “Big Book” by Alcoholics Anonymous, which you can read in its entirety on their website.
There’s also a “Big Book” by Co-Dependents Anonymous, which has a similar structure to the AA big book.

The CoDA big book is not available online, it seems, but Adult Children of Alcoholics have some basic and quite helpful texts on their site.

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Now that’s all rather depressing, so here’s a warm-up sketch I did recently:

Whee!


Discussion (6)¬

  1. Nicolas says:

    That’s really difficult to read something that speaks so much to me.

    My mother used to do her possible to hide from us our father’s alcoholism. Worked pretty well (also cause I’m really blind for these things) but possibly didn’t help much solving the problem. Especially because of the processus of desocialization: finally they would lose all their friends but my godfather, who was himself a former alcoholic. She has always been obsessed with protecting us in all possible situations – never really understood if she had an anxious nature or if it was consequence of what she had to face during her life.

    Never knew how he felt himself; like many men in his generation, he wasn’t very good at expressing feelings, and neither alcohol nor fear of other peoples’ look on his illness did help. Perhaps he was also lacking litterature dealing with this kind of situation in a non-normative way, like your comics.

    My godfather was very supportive in helping him quitting, which encountered some successes. On the past three years, because of the diet, his mental abilities had been improving a lot, and I think he was happy about it. Still, that didn’t prevent alcohol to kill him on the end.

    Even if this ‘enabling’ story seems to make sense, I can’t prevent myself of thinking that, at least she does something about it – of course, the choice to ignore and rely on her mother hasn’t really been given to her. In comparaison, my denial seems a monument of selfishness, even more towards my mum.

    Okay, sorry for all this self-whiny stuff. Just wanted you to know that (like many people I guess, that’s so common in real life compared to the way books or movies deal with it) I feel really touched by this episode and looking forward to the next panels (but man, no pressure, right)

  2. Tinet says:

    Thank you for your comment, Nicolas! It means a lot to me. This storyline is not easy for me, maybe because my own experiences with alcoholism are more like yours, as you probably know — our mother tried to hide it from us and prevent it from hurting us, but at some level it was of course impossible.
    In Willie’s and her father’s case, they are alone with each other, so Willie has kind of taken on the same role as our mothers. If she had younger brothers or sisters she would probably have tried to protect them in the same way.

    Don’t worry about pressure. I don’t really notice any other pressure than the one from the voices inside my head … it overpowers everything else. V`(oo)´V

  3. Ainur says:

    Tinet, I first thought you meant the other Priest film… (which is pretty hot. And sad.)

    I’ve always wanted to escape from all that into my own little world. It is terrifying to feel responsible of other people, adults even, so forgetting everything and focusing on your own fantasies is much easier. Willie is so brave for making the decision to return to her home. When I first realized that she was serious about it, I just wanted to tell her, don’t do it! Stay on that cozy pirate ship with your ideal friends and the handsome and understanding guy who would like to kiss you forever… But Willie did the Right Thing. She couldn’t know that her father had managed to sort out his life on his own. At least it appears like that; I’m keeping my fingers crossed for them!

    And I hope she will find her way back to that pirate ship one day, in one way or another, when she is ready for it.

  4. Tinet says:

    I should watch that other Priest film … :3

    Well, the way she is, it would have tortured her (subconsciously at the very least) if she had stayed, and she would have felt like she had abandoned her dad for selfish reasons, just like her mum had abandoned her (from the little she knows or can guess about the possible reasons for her mum’s actions, anyway …). :o/

  5. Marc Raab says:

    The dialogue here seems (in my experience) very true-to-life, although my sponsor was more obtuse than explanatory in his comments. I think he was more about the doing than the talking about doing.

    One of my friends in AA told me that when she started going to meetings she was told she was “too smart for her own good”, i.e., that she over-thought everything and that could be an obstacle to her sobriety. Which was true in her case. She got sober when she stopped thinking so much about it.

  6. Tinet says:

    Thanks for your comment, Marc! It’s good to know I’m not doing it totally wrong. I’m reading lots about AA, but that’s of course not as good as personal experience.

    Heh, usually the “you’re thinking too much” line and its variations makes me bristle, but maybe in some cases people really do think too much. :o/

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